Brock was a fire fighter for 8 years in Texas, prior to our move back to Indiana. June 2011 we made the grand move across country back to Indiana for multiple reasons. With a savings account built up and a new start we were ready for this new adventure. This move has been great for our family and hard for our family.
As soon as we arrived Brock started the job search. He found a temporary job till he could get on at a fire department. Our local fire department opened up a position a month and half after we arrived. Brock jumped on the opportunity! Excited we started the LONG GRUELING application process. The application asked for transfer of all certification from other states to Indiana before the application was turned in. OK...easy enough. Indiana Homeland Security stopped that right away! Indiana Homeland Security will not take any other states emergency education. So eight years of Brock's life and his career were out the window. This was heartbreaking for both of us. More so him of course. Brock and I talked and we had decided that he go for a reserve position and he get all his certifications back in Indiana. A year later and he almost has them all back, with much appreciation from the city we live in that paid for it all.
As we wait for a position to open at our local department, Brock has been working a miserable job. This excitement came a couple weeks ago when a position opened in the city. The opportunity was for more pay, and was a hire directly with the city so that when he gets hired with the department it is a lateral transfer with a pay raise. This ends up being a lot easier on the city and us. Brock was choose 1 of 7 out of 40 applications. These odds were in our favor! We were getting so excited. This was a step in the direction we had been praying for since we moved a year and half ago.
He went tot he interview and thing went great. He said it felt very comfortable and they informed him that it was between him and a 19 year old kid. Our thoughts were that if anyone had to choose between a 19 year old kid and someone that is already involved with the city and has a family and responcibilities the decision was simple.
Brock wait 3 days to call them. After a LOT of praying, being hopeful, and very excited he called them to find out if they had made a decision yet. I have sat all morning awaiting news from him on what he found out. When he called me he sounds disappointed. I asked him if they had made a decision yet. He informed me they told him that had hired someone. Our hearts broke again!
We just keep getting road blocks on our plans. We put our faith in God and know that we will be alright in the end and we are always taken care of. It is hard not to be frustrated in the end. Changes are good. God is always guiding us in a direction he wants us in. Sometimes the frustration takes over and just have to have faith that our goals will be reached!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Our personal "Renovation Realities" TV episode
Brock's parents will be here on Friday. Or as Brock says "the most judgmental woman on the face of the planet" will be here on Friday! Brock has lost his remodeling mind!
The projects he wants done are fairly simple overall. That is the FIRST problem. There is NO simple DIY renovation. That world does not exist.
The project list include: texturing the walls, painting the walls, and if there is enough time painting the cabinets. I laugh at the list, while the list mocks Brock. We went to our local hardware store and purchased all the needed supplies and rented the texturing machine to make the process "simpler" than texturing by hand. It took Brock most of the night just getting the prep work done of covering everything that will not get textured.
Then "THE MACHINE" comes into play... Poor Brock! The guy at the hardware store helped him get the right joint compound to be able to feed it through the texture machine. Since Brock nor myself have ever used this machine and it was the hardware stores you would think they would know what product to use. Second problem, we assumed that the guy at the hardware store knew what he was talking about.
4AM Eastern standard time, Brock is dealing with joint compound drying so quickly that it is literally drying in the machine as he is putting it on the wall. He doesnt even have time to actually smooth out the texture on the walls before it dries.
5AM Eastern standard time, I am awoke to "Nik I need help!" I get up get my shower and proceed to help him scrape off the walls with the dried texture. As I type this Brock is sitting on our kitchen floor scraping out "THE MACHINE" from all of the dried joint compound.
His plan now is to return to the store when they open and proceed to tell them our Renovation Reality and pray that we are not out the $40 in rental cost just to pay another $40 in rental cost over something one of the employees informed us wrong about.
Renovations are CRAZY at it is. We try to trust people at the stores because they are suppose to be knowledgeable about the products they sale and or about the equipment they rent out. To be honest though, with this down economy, I think they hire anyone that desperately needs a job and will show up to work on time! I am thinking about applying in the electrical department (I have ZERO electrical experience) and tell customers whatever I want. Hey a little extra cash coming in never hurt anyone!
The projects he wants done are fairly simple overall. That is the FIRST problem. There is NO simple DIY renovation. That world does not exist.
The project list include: texturing the walls, painting the walls, and if there is enough time painting the cabinets. I laugh at the list, while the list mocks Brock. We went to our local hardware store and purchased all the needed supplies and rented the texturing machine to make the process "simpler" than texturing by hand. It took Brock most of the night just getting the prep work done of covering everything that will not get textured.
Then "THE MACHINE" comes into play... Poor Brock! The guy at the hardware store helped him get the right joint compound to be able to feed it through the texture machine. Since Brock nor myself have ever used this machine and it was the hardware stores you would think they would know what product to use. Second problem, we assumed that the guy at the hardware store knew what he was talking about.
4AM Eastern standard time, Brock is dealing with joint compound drying so quickly that it is literally drying in the machine as he is putting it on the wall. He doesnt even have time to actually smooth out the texture on the walls before it dries.
5AM Eastern standard time, I am awoke to "Nik I need help!" I get up get my shower and proceed to help him scrape off the walls with the dried texture. As I type this Brock is sitting on our kitchen floor scraping out "THE MACHINE" from all of the dried joint compound.
His plan now is to return to the store when they open and proceed to tell them our Renovation Reality and pray that we are not out the $40 in rental cost just to pay another $40 in rental cost over something one of the employees informed us wrong about.
Renovations are CRAZY at it is. We try to trust people at the stores because they are suppose to be knowledgeable about the products they sale and or about the equipment they rent out. To be honest though, with this down economy, I think they hire anyone that desperately needs a job and will show up to work on time! I am thinking about applying in the electrical department (I have ZERO electrical experience) and tell customers whatever I want. Hey a little extra cash coming in never hurt anyone!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Youthful Golden Years
Since I contracted Meningococcal Meningitis, I have a lot of medical problems that stem from the damage caused by the disease. This kind of comes along with being a survivor.The past several years my body has decided to torture me by having random numbness of parts of my body. These "flare ups", as Brock and call them, can last anywhere from a few days to weeks. During these times whatever part is having the issue at the time hurt. Imagine that feeling you get when your foot goes numb and it feels like a 1000 needles being stuck into randomly happening for days constantly. That is what these flare ups do. I cant sleep during these period. I can go several days on a couple hours of sleep. This becomes mentally, and physically exhausting.
After 3 years of dealing with this, Brock and I start the search for answers. Orthopedic surgeons, three different ortho doctors, did several exrays, MRI, Cat and EMGs. Their conclusion was that it was a autoimmune issue and I needed to go to a rhuemtologist. The rhuemtologist ran lots of blood work, 7 VERY large vials of blood was drawn which made for a very wobbly on stilts anemic Nikki, which gave no answers. So the rhuemtologist sent me to a new neurologist. The neurologist did a contrast and non contrast MRI of my brain and MORE blood work. The neurologist came back with deterioration of my entire nervous system. He said that the disease attack my nervous system so severally, which we knew already, that the long term damage is now starting to show up. The exciting part was we FINALLY got an answer! The devastating part is that he said it will only get worse from this point.
OK we have answers! WHOO HOOO! I am not crazy and my body DOES hate me! I am 34 years old and my body acts like it is in its seventies at times. This brings a whole new twist to a relationship.
People get married with the plan to grow old together, sit on the front porch together, and help each other during the "Golden Years." I feel like I am mentally younger that 34, but my body feels way older than 34. So the giggles and luaghs between a man and woman still are there between Brock and I. Our youthful fun relationship is still there. But he has to help me be mobile very often. Holding my hand not just for a sweetness but so I dont fall. Helping me up and down stairs. He pulls me off the floor when I cant get up. He pulls me from a laying to sitting position in bed so I can get up in the mornings sometimes.
Last night we were sitting on the couch watching TV and we started tickling each other, this happens often. I started squirming away from him and end up on my knees on the floor and start yelling because I did something to my already hurt hip. He helps me pop my hip back and rubs on it to relieve some of the pain. We laugh and joke about these time because he says he should claim Lemon law on me. LOL But in all actuality we are to young to have a relationship that has to to deal with Golden years problems. Brock takes it all with strides. He says "I would rather spend the time God has gave me with you then to not have you at all." Sweet yes! I am lucky, I know! I just wish we could enjoy our youthful relationship NOW and our golden years later.
After 3 years of dealing with this, Brock and I start the search for answers. Orthopedic surgeons, three different ortho doctors, did several exrays, MRI, Cat and EMGs. Their conclusion was that it was a autoimmune issue and I needed to go to a rhuemtologist. The rhuemtologist ran lots of blood work, 7 VERY large vials of blood was drawn which made for a very wobbly on stilts anemic Nikki, which gave no answers. So the rhuemtologist sent me to a new neurologist. The neurologist did a contrast and non contrast MRI of my brain and MORE blood work. The neurologist came back with deterioration of my entire nervous system. He said that the disease attack my nervous system so severally, which we knew already, that the long term damage is now starting to show up. The exciting part was we FINALLY got an answer! The devastating part is that he said it will only get worse from this point.
OK we have answers! WHOO HOOO! I am not crazy and my body DOES hate me! I am 34 years old and my body acts like it is in its seventies at times. This brings a whole new twist to a relationship.
People get married with the plan to grow old together, sit on the front porch together, and help each other during the "Golden Years." I feel like I am mentally younger that 34, but my body feels way older than 34. So the giggles and luaghs between a man and woman still are there between Brock and I. Our youthful fun relationship is still there. But he has to help me be mobile very often. Holding my hand not just for a sweetness but so I dont fall. Helping me up and down stairs. He pulls me off the floor when I cant get up. He pulls me from a laying to sitting position in bed so I can get up in the mornings sometimes.
Last night we were sitting on the couch watching TV and we started tickling each other, this happens often. I started squirming away from him and end up on my knees on the floor and start yelling because I did something to my already hurt hip. He helps me pop my hip back and rubs on it to relieve some of the pain. We laugh and joke about these time because he says he should claim Lemon law on me. LOL But in all actuality we are to young to have a relationship that has to to deal with Golden years problems. Brock takes it all with strides. He says "I would rather spend the time God has gave me with you then to not have you at all." Sweet yes! I am lucky, I know! I just wish we could enjoy our youthful relationship NOW and our golden years later.
Monday, October 1, 2012
The surprice that might just drive us INSANE (more than we already are!)
Awhile back Brock called his Dad to wish him a happy birthday. After the very short and very awkward phone call, Brock seem frustrated and a little disappointed. Him and talked about the problems and strained relationship between his parents and himself. I see faults on both sides of it and including myself that caused the long time coming of the failure of their relationship.
You would think that 17.5 hours away from each other they would talk more. My mom and I have had a VERY strained relationship for about 12 years now, but she at least calls me once a month if not more. She lives in the same area as Brocks parents, so it is the same distance.
After a talk with his sister (which I always LOVE to listen in on because the things I complain about with Brock's communication skills his sister has too and he complains about her...they are one in the same! LOL) he was frustrated that this relationship is so broken. My heart breaking for him I started secretly call his parents. Keep in mind his parents do not like me at all. After two weeks of trying to contact them I finally get a answer. His Dad answers the phone and it takes me a couple of minutes to tell him who I was:
"Hey Ron this is Nikki"
"Nikki who?"
"Brock's Nikki"
"Brock?"
"Yes the woman that lives with your son"
"OH Nikki"
It is strange to have conversations start out like that. Considering in five years this is probably the fifth to seventh time I have ever talked to either of his parents on the phone, I thought we were already getting off to a bad start. I proceed to explain to Ron how hurt and frustrated Brock seem to be by their relationship. Ron just agreed. Honestly what else could he do, I was telling the truth. Then I say I would love to be able to give Brock a opportunity to mend that relationship between him and his parents before something happens and he regrets it in the end.
Since I have been watching my Dad go down hill, I realize just how aggravated parents can be with their adult children. I personally think it is that they still see us as children and not adults. I see the stress my relationship with my Dad is getting by the day with his self destructiveness. I am watching my Dad SLOWLY very very SLOWLY kill himself. I have come to realize that I do not want Brock to hurt more or have regrets with his parents if something happens with them. I would like to see them attempt to mend this relationship. I would like God to work on all their hearts, including mine, to mend this parent child relationship.
As Ron is on the phone with me I feel the stress of what I was about to ask swell over me. UGH really I am about to do this to myself. I MUST be a gluten for punishment! I swallow my selfishness and think of how much happier Brock will be with his parents back in his life. I blurt it out, "I would like to invite you and Lavinia to come visit us for Brock's birthday." UGH stupid stupid stupid what are you thinking!!! Oh but that wasn't enough salt in the wound I proceed to carry on like a babbling monkey "I would like you to come stay at our house if you are comfortable with that. If not I will pay for yalls gas and/or the hotel" palm to forehead stupid stupid stupid. Ron I think just as shocked as I was that I was saying this. He stammered for a brief moment and said "Let me talk this over with Lavinia and I will get back to you, OK?" That moment I knew the queen bee of the family was NOT going to go for this idea, her son's birthday or not. I hung up think I would never hear back from either of them again.
Couple days went by, Ron calls back! Haid that Lavinia and him had spoken and they had decided to come up for Brock's birthday and are requesting my help in finding a hotel. WOW the queen bee approved this. Approved MY idea! She is willing to TOLERATE me and our kids for a 3 day period of time. I am shocked! OH and they are asking for my help???? Hurry pinch harder obviously I am either dreaming or dead.
Several weeks go by and Ron secretly text me during the days and emails me so that Brock doesnt get suspicious. We get everything set up and I am SHOCKED that I had not ratted myself out to Brock. I cant a secret from that man even if I tried.
4 days till the arrival of his parents and I walk in the door to a police inquire. Brock asked quickly "When are they going to be here?" "Who?" I say hoping he wasnt talking about what I thought he was.
"My parents!"
"I have no clue what you are talking about!"
"Yes you do just fess up"
"I hope your parents arent coming!" I was starting to pull this stuff out of thin air!
"When Nikki?"
"Friday at 3" I hang my head in defeat!
Since then Brock has been in full remodel mode. His mother is a very critical person about everyone. No one can escape a Lavinia criticism. You can try to dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge but a wrench will still fly at your forehead and leave you spinning in the aftermath of a Lavinia criticism! After weeks of Brock watching me stress over handling two households, watching my Dad die slowly, soccer, football, swim, Brocks school, and actually trying to somehow amongst the crazy take care of myself, he realized that I had taken on the stress of his parents walking into our house under construction. I saw the moment in Brocks face when he realized, that is why she has been a mad cleaning woman.
Starting Friday, I am heading into a weekend filled with me and my kids are the scum of the earth. I screwed everything up and am probably the reason for global warming somehow. I am not a good parent.
I do not know how to clean. I dont know how to decorate. I am wrong and always will be about everything in life. Oh and then listening to her down grade Brock as well. Brock is a good man, I didnt say perfect, neither am I. He takes great care of me and the kids. He is a wonderful soul that is human, much like me. Every time I have to hear her belittle Brock, it just crawls up my spine and it takes an act of God for me to bite my tongue. But this is the first babystep to rebuilding Brock's relationship with his parents. Oh yea I just worked Dave Ramsey into this blog!
Whatever religion you are, at this particular point in time we are going to honor any and all help from any and all religions the more the better, please pray for Brock, the kids and myself this weekend. We are going to need it!
You would think that 17.5 hours away from each other they would talk more. My mom and I have had a VERY strained relationship for about 12 years now, but she at least calls me once a month if not more. She lives in the same area as Brocks parents, so it is the same distance.
After a talk with his sister (which I always LOVE to listen in on because the things I complain about with Brock's communication skills his sister has too and he complains about her...they are one in the same! LOL) he was frustrated that this relationship is so broken. My heart breaking for him I started secretly call his parents. Keep in mind his parents do not like me at all. After two weeks of trying to contact them I finally get a answer. His Dad answers the phone and it takes me a couple of minutes to tell him who I was:
"Hey Ron this is Nikki"
"Nikki who?"
"Brock's Nikki"
"Brock?"
"Yes the woman that lives with your son"
"OH Nikki"
It is strange to have conversations start out like that. Considering in five years this is probably the fifth to seventh time I have ever talked to either of his parents on the phone, I thought we were already getting off to a bad start. I proceed to explain to Ron how hurt and frustrated Brock seem to be by their relationship. Ron just agreed. Honestly what else could he do, I was telling the truth. Then I say I would love to be able to give Brock a opportunity to mend that relationship between him and his parents before something happens and he regrets it in the end.
Since I have been watching my Dad go down hill, I realize just how aggravated parents can be with their adult children. I personally think it is that they still see us as children and not adults. I see the stress my relationship with my Dad is getting by the day with his self destructiveness. I am watching my Dad SLOWLY very very SLOWLY kill himself. I have come to realize that I do not want Brock to hurt more or have regrets with his parents if something happens with them. I would like to see them attempt to mend this relationship. I would like God to work on all their hearts, including mine, to mend this parent child relationship.
As Ron is on the phone with me I feel the stress of what I was about to ask swell over me. UGH really I am about to do this to myself. I MUST be a gluten for punishment! I swallow my selfishness and think of how much happier Brock will be with his parents back in his life. I blurt it out, "I would like to invite you and Lavinia to come visit us for Brock's birthday." UGH stupid stupid stupid what are you thinking!!! Oh but that wasn't enough salt in the wound I proceed to carry on like a babbling monkey "I would like you to come stay at our house if you are comfortable with that. If not I will pay for yalls gas and/or the hotel" palm to forehead stupid stupid stupid. Ron I think just as shocked as I was that I was saying this. He stammered for a brief moment and said "Let me talk this over with Lavinia and I will get back to you, OK?" That moment I knew the queen bee of the family was NOT going to go for this idea, her son's birthday or not. I hung up think I would never hear back from either of them again.
Couple days went by, Ron calls back! Haid that Lavinia and him had spoken and they had decided to come up for Brock's birthday and are requesting my help in finding a hotel. WOW the queen bee approved this. Approved MY idea! She is willing to TOLERATE me and our kids for a 3 day period of time. I am shocked! OH and they are asking for my help???? Hurry pinch harder obviously I am either dreaming or dead.
Several weeks go by and Ron secretly text me during the days and emails me so that Brock doesnt get suspicious. We get everything set up and I am SHOCKED that I had not ratted myself out to Brock. I cant a secret from that man even if I tried.
4 days till the arrival of his parents and I walk in the door to a police inquire. Brock asked quickly "When are they going to be here?" "Who?" I say hoping he wasnt talking about what I thought he was.
"My parents!"
"I have no clue what you are talking about!"
"Yes you do just fess up"
"I hope your parents arent coming!" I was starting to pull this stuff out of thin air!
"When Nikki?"
"Friday at 3" I hang my head in defeat!
Since then Brock has been in full remodel mode. His mother is a very critical person about everyone. No one can escape a Lavinia criticism. You can try to dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge but a wrench will still fly at your forehead and leave you spinning in the aftermath of a Lavinia criticism! After weeks of Brock watching me stress over handling two households, watching my Dad die slowly, soccer, football, swim, Brocks school, and actually trying to somehow amongst the crazy take care of myself, he realized that I had taken on the stress of his parents walking into our house under construction. I saw the moment in Brocks face when he realized, that is why she has been a mad cleaning woman.
Starting Friday, I am heading into a weekend filled with me and my kids are the scum of the earth. I screwed everything up and am probably the reason for global warming somehow. I am not a good parent.
I do not know how to clean. I dont know how to decorate. I am wrong and always will be about everything in life. Oh and then listening to her down grade Brock as well. Brock is a good man, I didnt say perfect, neither am I. He takes great care of me and the kids. He is a wonderful soul that is human, much like me. Every time I have to hear her belittle Brock, it just crawls up my spine and it takes an act of God for me to bite my tongue. But this is the first babystep to rebuilding Brock's relationship with his parents. Oh yea I just worked Dave Ramsey into this blog!
Whatever religion you are, at this particular point in time we are going to honor any and all help from any and all religions the more the better, please pray for Brock, the kids and myself this weekend. We are going to need it!
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