Awhile back Brock called his Dad to wish him a happy birthday. After the very short and very awkward phone call, Brock seem frustrated and a little disappointed. Him and talked about the problems and strained relationship between his parents and himself. I see faults on both sides of it and including myself that caused the long time coming of the failure of their relationship.
You would think that 17.5 hours away from each other they would talk more. My mom and I have had a VERY strained relationship for about 12 years now, but she at least calls me once a month if not more. She lives in the same area as Brocks parents, so it is the same distance.
After a talk with his sister (which I always LOVE to listen in on because the things I complain about with Brock's communication skills his sister has too and he complains about her...they are one in the same! LOL) he was frustrated that this relationship is so broken. My heart breaking for him I started secretly call his parents. Keep in mind his parents do not like me at all. After two weeks of trying to contact them I finally get a answer. His Dad answers the phone and it takes me a couple of minutes to tell him who I was:
"Hey Ron this is Nikki"
"Nikki who?"
"Brock's Nikki"
"Brock?"
"Yes the woman that lives with your son"
"OH Nikki"
It is strange to have conversations start out like that. Considering in five years this is probably the fifth to seventh time I have ever talked to either of his parents on the phone, I thought we were already getting off to a bad start. I proceed to explain to Ron how hurt and frustrated Brock seem to be by their relationship. Ron just agreed. Honestly what else could he do, I was telling the truth. Then I say I would love to be able to give Brock a opportunity to mend that relationship between him and his parents before something happens and he regrets it in the end.
Since I have been watching my Dad go down hill, I realize just how aggravated parents can be with their adult children. I personally think it is that they still see us as children and not adults. I see the stress my relationship with my Dad is getting by the day with his self destructiveness. I am watching my Dad SLOWLY very very SLOWLY kill himself. I have come to realize that I do not want Brock to hurt more or have regrets with his parents if something happens with them. I would like to see them attempt to mend this relationship. I would like God to work on all their hearts, including mine, to mend this parent child relationship.
As Ron is on the phone with me I feel the stress of what I was about to ask swell over me. UGH really I am about to do this to myself. I MUST be a gluten for punishment! I swallow my selfishness and think of how much happier Brock will be with his parents back in his life. I blurt it out, "I would like to invite you and Lavinia to come visit us for Brock's birthday." UGH stupid stupid stupid what are you thinking!!! Oh but that wasn't enough salt in the wound I proceed to carry on like a babbling monkey "I would like you to come stay at our house if you are comfortable with that. If not I will pay for yalls gas and/or the hotel" palm to forehead stupid stupid stupid. Ron I think just as shocked as I was that I was saying this. He stammered for a brief moment and said "Let me talk this over with Lavinia and I will get back to you, OK?" That moment I knew the queen bee of the family was NOT going to go for this idea, her son's birthday or not. I hung up think I would never hear back from either of them again.
Couple days went by, Ron calls back! Haid that Lavinia and him had spoken and they had decided to come up for Brock's birthday and are requesting my help in finding a hotel. WOW the queen bee approved this. Approved MY idea! She is willing to TOLERATE me and our kids for a 3 day period of time. I am shocked! OH and they are asking for my help???? Hurry pinch harder obviously I am either dreaming or dead.
Several weeks go by and Ron secretly text me during the days and emails me so that Brock doesnt get suspicious. We get everything set up and I am SHOCKED that I had not ratted myself out to Brock. I cant a secret from that man even if I tried.
4 days till the arrival of his parents and I walk in the door to a police inquire. Brock asked quickly "When are they going to be here?" "Who?" I say hoping he wasnt talking about what I thought he was.
"My parents!"
"I have no clue what you are talking about!"
"Yes you do just fess up"
"I hope your parents arent coming!" I was starting to pull this stuff out of thin air!
"When Nikki?"
"Friday at 3" I hang my head in defeat!
Since then Brock has been in full remodel mode. His mother is a very critical person about everyone. No one can escape a Lavinia criticism. You can try to dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge but a wrench will still fly at your forehead and leave you spinning in the aftermath of a Lavinia criticism! After weeks of Brock watching me stress over handling two households, watching my Dad die slowly, soccer, football, swim, Brocks school, and actually trying to somehow amongst the crazy take care of myself, he realized that I had taken on the stress of his parents walking into our house under construction. I saw the moment in Brocks face when he realized, that is why she has been a mad cleaning woman.
Starting Friday, I am heading into a weekend filled with me and my kids are the scum of the earth. I screwed everything up and am probably the reason for global warming somehow. I am not a good parent.
I do not know how to clean. I dont know how to decorate. I am wrong and always will be about everything in life. Oh and then listening to her down grade Brock as well. Brock is a good man, I didnt say perfect, neither am I. He takes great care of me and the kids. He is a wonderful soul that is human, much like me. Every time I have to hear her belittle Brock, it just crawls up my spine and it takes an act of God for me to bite my tongue. But this is the first babystep to rebuilding Brock's relationship with his parents. Oh yea I just worked Dave Ramsey into this blog!
Whatever religion you are, at this particular point in time we are going to honor any and all help from any and all religions the more the better, please pray for Brock, the kids and myself this weekend. We are going to need it!
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